Ruckus=Awesomness

I had quite the realization today, that I am really loving and enjoying life as it is now.  I am living and doing things for myself that define me, not me +1.  It's so invigorating!  I've never been happier in my entire life, even when I thought I was happy.  So you all are probably wondering what the heck I did to feel this incredible, well here it goes.....

So about six months ago my boot camp decided they were going to run the Ruckus race in Marshfield.  For those of you who do not know the Ruckus it is a mud race with obstacles.  I signed up with full intention of not doing 3/4 of the obstacles because I personally believed that I wasn't capable of doing them.  But over the last few months I have really gotten back into the healthy lifestyle and have gotten myself back into pretty good shape, so I felt more ready for this thing than before.  I received my email from the Ruckus a few days before the race and not going to lie, the obstacles detailed in that email made me freak out a little, but alas I sucked it up and got ready to Rock the Ruckus!  Saturday comes along and Beth (my trainer) and I head in there a little early to scope out the scene.  I got there and was AMPED!  The course looked awesome.  I felt totally bad ass even before I started.  Fast forward a couple hours, I get on the course and begin running with my friend Mike.  We get to the first obstacles no problem, through a cargo net, again no problem and then came the mud!  We made it a point to get so gross and covered in mud and that we did.  I'm so thankful for Mike too, he was such an encouraging partner to run with!  We finished with two of the other girls in our boot camp and OMG was it awesome.

So today I am siting at my desk talking to my friend Kathleen who got me into running and I started to cry talking to her about it.  I told her I found my thing, these races are my thing!  while I am saying this I start to tear up because I am so proud of myself for how far I've come.  Five months ago I was on the floor, not sure where to go, now I feel like I am better than ever with the wind back in my sails.  I feel like there is nothing I cannot do and I am so ready and excited to continue going.  I have amazing friends, an even more amazing and supportive family and just so much love surrounding me I could burst!  I love it.  This is what I was meant to do.  God gave me this path to show me I am better than what I was giving myself credit for.  That I am okay on my own and don't need someone else to define me as a person.  What I have accomplished from where I have come from is absolutely incredible and I am so excited to continue this new chapter in my life!!!!

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

The last few months have been pretty interesting in life.  Steve decided that he no longer wanted to be with me, the reason I probably will never know but I have my assumptions....but it really actually was a favor to me because I didn't realize how much of myself I had given up.  It's like I was given a new page, a fresh start, to get back to who I am.  I feel like as crappy as the situation was in the beginning I have emerged an even better and stronger person.  My parents have been absolutely amazing through this, their love and support is completely incredible and I wouldn't be here today if I didn't have that.  I also have to say my friends are equally as incredible and patient and I love them to pieces.  As my friends have told me, I was a muddled down version of Stacey until recently, now I am back to the awesomely vivacious person I should be.

So what am I up to now that I am single you ask?  Well after some soul searching and finally detaching myself from the emotions and feelings from my break up; I am pretty much doing anything and everything outdoors related.  I got back into running and have finished the last three 5Ks with personal best times.  I also signed up for two half marathons, one in October, the other in January.  I took up softball again as well as beach volleyball and just upped the number of boot camp classes I do every month.  On top of that I just planned an amazing vacation to visit my best friend in Florida, something I have wanted to do for the longest time but wasn't able to before.

I feel like all that I am doing is truly a real testament to who I am and what I want.  I realized that I always end up losing a lot of myself when I am in a relationship because I go for guys that make me complacent, not men that make me happy yet also challenge me to be a better person.  I need someone who like me, challenges and pushes the envelope and constantly wants and strives to be a better, more awesome person.  I also realized the whole we are super different this is awesome thing doesn't work either, I need someone who likes things I like. That way you have things you can do together that you both enjoy.  I don't need someone who likes ABSOLUTELY everything that I do but there definitely needs to be some common ground in the picture.  I also need someone who stands up for themselves and what they believe in, passive guys don't really work for me.  I need someone to call me out when I am being a brat and put me up on that pedestal I deserve to be on! I know for a fact that I went through everything because God knew I could handle it and He only gives you things you can handle.  Boy did it suck getting to that conclusion but I really truly believe that is the case.   I know I am going to find someone that loves me for me, someone that doesn't run when the going gets tough.  And if not, then it's not in the cards for me.  As much as I am a relationship kind of girl, I don't need a man to define what or who I am.  So I am excited to see what the future holds for me.  I feel like things can only get better from here!